They decide they are both, at heart, entertainers armistice is declared and Zeke thereupon drops some Zen (spoiler alert!): A little background is in order: Simmons had long made a sport of busting on Isiah in his column, to the point that Isiah finally responded by threatening 'trouble.' Then, one day, the two of them find themselves poolside in Vegas. But can we talk a moment about The Secret? For the two or three Americans who've yet to read the book, The Secret is a little sliver of fortune-cookie wisdom passed on to Bill by Isiah Thomas one sunny day in Vegas-Vegas, incidentally, has a hold on Simmons in much the same way that California did for the Joads, or Wally World for the Griswolds-and it's more or less the foundation of the book. I'm a sucker for other people's enthusiasms (Simmons on Walton or McHale's low-post game isn't quite Lester Bangs on Astral Weeks, but, as Simmons might say, it's in the pantheon), and I love that he has written an enormously popular bestseller about basketball in the face of allegedly widespread public indifference to our greatest game. I should say here that I liked the book a great deal. Somewhere, Valerie Solanas is polishing her Glock. Let's just pass over the story about the 'mediocre Asian with fake cans' and head straight to this little pearl, provided by Simmons's buddy Bug: 'Every time I watch Jason Kidd play, initially it's like seeing a girl walk into a bar who's just drop-dead gorgeous, but then when he throws up one of those bricks, it's like the gorgeous girl taking off her jacket and you see she has tiny mosquito bites for tits.' I'm glad Jonathan brought up the sexism, because, well, it's pretty astounding (this from a guy writing next to the stripper pole at Deadspin HQ). Tommy Craggs 'The Secret: A hopelessly banal point about chemistry and sacrifice.' 12/10/09 at 12:00 Sam Anderson: Good-bye to the soul-searching, the Vonnegut references, the Iverson jokes. Ben Mathis-Lilley: We can’t knock Simmons as an overcompensating tourist in hip-hop culture. Tommy Craggs: Placing the NBA in the heart of a certain kind of white-bread Americana.

Jonathan Lethem: Let me try a small stunt here. Sherman Alexie: The Last Great White American Player Syndrome? Bethlehem Shoals: I'm reluctantly raising an issue that could swallow up this discussion whole. Sam Anderson: I think Bill Simmons is a very good writer. Ben Mathis-Lilley: Some thoughts on the book's horrible sexism. Tommy Craggs: The Secret: A hopelessly banal point about chemistry and sacrifice. Jonathan Lethem: I felt starved for something booklike in this book-resembling object. Bethlehem Shoals: Simmons mistakes going too far, and wallowing in excess, for taking risks. Sherman Alexie: The genius of Simmons: He is an obsessive-compulsive basketball populist.

Sam Anderson: The inconsistency drives me crazy. Sam Anderson: The wisdom, the blasphemy, the stripper anecdotes.

The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons